So in case none of you can read dates and/or do math, this is my first post in quite awhile. I mean, I figured I should wait to post anything until my head stopped spinning, what with all that happened to Lauren with the car accident, and all the stares and questions at school, and the constant what-if games I keep playing with myself and all. It's been about 2 weeks since I learned about her car crash, and since then, I feel like I'm living a double life - a before and an after. I'm here and I'm waiting for them to merge back together, but so far they haven't and it feels like it's been so long but it hasn't. Every day at school and at practice I get this strange sense that I'm watching myself and I'm watching my life unfold on a TV screen or in a movie or something and it's like watching those god-awful horror movies where you just want to scream at the dumb bitch not to open the garage door and go out by herself (scream, anyone? worst horror movie EVER) but you can't and you just watch her do it, and that's how I feel every time I watch my own life play out in front of me.